white light and negativity

I just reread a wonderful meditation on the light this morning.  A gentle reminder to bring the light into everything that I do and to surround myself with light.  It was lovely this morning to feel the tingle of bright white light washing through my body, clearing my mind and uplifting my spirit.  It was a great way to start the day.  

Another day of putting out fires, even in the yoga business we carry the water and chop the wood and we do that with other people so there are the challenges of doing that with as much grace as we can find within.  

Reading the feedback from the course evaluation for this past years yoga teacher training program there were some disgruntled students, students who did not express their dissatisfaction to me.  Who did not come to me and talk to me about what was not working for them.  The comments are sharp and cutting.  In a format that leave no recourse to help these students get what they need from the program.  Had they communicated through out the program in a more direct manner we, I may have been able to do something to make the course a better experience for them.  

As I sit here trying to bring light to this feeling in my stomach I find that maybe this is the test once again.  Not just to be able to bring in the light in my bedroom, surrounded by my favourite things but in the challenging situations of life.  The way through this is to look carefully at the comments and decide what I can truly learn from.  What comments are there for me to learn and grow from.  Students would generally like more focus on Asana. The curriculum comes from the knowledge base expected by the Federation of Ontario Yoga Teachers, The Yoga Alliance and the British Wheel of Yoga.  To take away those elements and focus on Asana alone would bring the program into the same category as that many of the quick courses on yoga of just focusing on asana.  Yoga is not just about asana.  

This could be more clearly articulated on our website.  One person commented on my lack of knowledge on the subject of yoga and this is something that moves inside me.  I feel that lack on a daily basis.  I read, I study, I take classes, courses, work with my teachers and no matter how much I learn about yoga I really feel that I will spend my whole life and barely scratch the surface of what is possible to know about yoga. I have worked with Doctors, chiropractors, massage therapists and physiotherapist who have found my understanding of the human body and yoga interesting and enlightening.  The comments, long story short, hurt most when they tap into my own fears and doubts about myself.  

 There are also lovely comments from happy students who got what they needed in the program.  As I practice repeating those comments and teasing out the juice of change and opportunity in the negative comments I am reminded of my teachers and how they have grappled with the same tension.

A work in progress. 

loving all unconditionally,

Denise