Holding Space

One of my dearest friends is struggling for her life right now.  She has been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.  She is young and strong, she is fighting.  I watch her and I am in admiration of her strength of character.  My mother has a mass in her lungs, yet to be determined and another friend is going in to check her lungs on Friday.  I pray for them all, I pray for their highest good to be realized in this moment.  I pray for them to heal.  I pray for them night and day.  I cry from time to time.  This is life - real time.  People get sick, people die.  Why does it feel so wrong?  It is perfectly normal, it happens everyday.  I feel alone.  I know that is not true.  I have seen the truth that I am never alone.  All those who have gone before, my guides, my teachers, my angels, my poppy, are all there guiding me, watching over me.  Archangel Michael spread his wings around me the night before last and held me while I feel asleep feeling alone and afraid.  

I got up the next day and with some resolve turned to my yoga practice, it was soft and lazy.  I looked inside and asked is this how Nadia built her business. I remembered why I practice and got busy and worked hard enough to break a sweat.  

 I thought a lot about my romantic relationship and realized that I was pulling away and turning inward, I found myself thinking Susie would speak up and tell her partner what she wanted.  I did.  

Feeling sorry for myself  I looked around at the mess of my kitchen and the mound of laundry in the basement, not knowing where to start to tackle the disaster and I thought of my mother and how she always found the energy to keep her house clean and I found the determination to get it done.

As I thought about writing a meaningful blog today, I realized, that the great gifts in my life are the inspiration that my friends and family provide.  They inspire me to get up every day and be my best self possible.  They may not always be with me but they will always be a part of me.