Nothing stands still

Hello me again,

The fall newsletter went out and there are already a few corrections and instructor changes.  An update is on its way.  Elizabeth is also off for the weekend, so there will not be a Sunday Hot Yoga class in Cambridge this Sunday, August 31, 2008.

Taught one of the worst classes of my career on Monday night, I was distracted and forgot what I was doing at least 15 times.  It became comical as one student almost feel over she was laughing so hard.  The really surprising part of this event was the lovely email message that came from a student who was in her second class, complimenting the me and the class, excited about her new journey.  You just never know what is going to inspire us : )

Tune in for more updates shortly.

In the moment,

Denise

Hello everyone,

The Fall schedule is a little later then we expected.  My challenges with life and technology continue.  My mother starts chemo and radiation on Monday and my friend Susie's liver is failing.  But the house is free from head lice and the basement, the whole house actually is cleaner than when we started.  Small gifts in everything.  This morning I was supposed to be in three places.  So I called in late to one, taking my children to help me with the second and here I am updating the blog and finishing the fall newsletter so hopefully it should be out today. 

I have been reading Tole's book again "The New Earth", while I did not really take to the guy before he is starting to grow on me.  And thank God for Byron Katie's book, "Loving What is".  Two incredible gifts to the human race.  Through all the challenges of the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to look carefully at my ego and my oh my what a wild beast it is.  Hummm, talk about the taming of the shrew, hehehehehhe.

I have been carrying my mala beads around this week, fingering them, and asking for the right mantra to come.  I find that ganesh mantra comes up as my old stand by, and I practice but my heart is not in it.  I think of gyatri mantra and it feels too global. Susie does not want healing mantras right now and I have not talked to my mother about it yet.  I toy with the the great mantras and find, the real question is what do I want in all of the swirling chaos.  I can see clearly what ego wants, as my ego is really good at shouting in my face.  The more real question is harder to sit still long enough to discern.  I sit and watch, maybe I will learn.

We are at the Cambridge Center today for the Active 8 "Tryathalon" come on out and say hello to my children. They are helping out today as I will be at the Kitchener studio at the Ashtanga Specialization.  

See you on the mat,

Denise

7am and all is quiet in my house.  I have been up for a while.  You can see the kitchen table again and the carpet of crunchy bits from the kitchen floor are gone.  The laundry is turned over and the the machines are spinning.  We woke up yesterday to head lice, fortunately only one child was infested, but 7 heads to check,  4 beds to strip, pillows to bag, phone calls to all those who have been in contact with my son and the places he has slept over the past week, so they are stripping beds and doing laundry as well.  One head to treat (thank you God).  

My head feels like it is crawling but apparently I am clear to.  This is a persistent little parasite.  I have had some experience with.  I have had so much experience that I have been on the head lice check team at the local elementary school.  

My mother has stage three lung cancer.  She is pissed off as she feels great right now and believes that the treatment that will ensue will make her sick.  My friend, Susie, is doing well, better than the doctors expect.  But, she is not a candidate for chemo.  Right now they are just managing her pain.  

We have two great young men staying with us that my son, Conor, met while in Montreal this summer.  They are a joy to have around.  The three of them flip back and forth from English to French all day and all night.  There is no shortage of music around this house.  They have set up the computer in our tiny little kitchen so getting a drink of water can require a dance of its own through the throngs of teenagers that all seem to be glued to the computer.  What is it with one person on msn or facebook and the others all gathered around .... wouldn't it be more fun to just call that person, or msn them and tell him/her to come on over too?  How could one more hurt?  Just another pair of stinky white sport socks under the kitchen table.  My house kind of smells like teenage boy.  I think that Laurie Anderson (female musician) got it right in her song, teenage boys smell like of like old goats.

Ok, time to practice just  nauli kriya and surya namaskar A & B this am.  6 rounds each.  Then wake the sleeping princess (that can get ugly) and get her over to the Kitchener studio this am to help with summer camps.  We  have the little ones this week they are soooo cute and soooo willing to hold hands and explore.  

Each day is its own adventure.

Denise

Updates

Hello all,

Our webmaster is away on holidays in France and Belgium and will not be back until August 13, 2008.  So the fall schedule will not be on the website until then.

The Sunday Kitchener class at 10am has been cancelled due to the instructors work schedule being changed.  We apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause.  If you enjoy yoga on Sunday morning, please join us in Cambridge at 10am for hot yoga.

We will be closed this holiday Monday as well.  

If you have any questions about the schedule please feel free to call Serenity at 519.884.9877 or call me, Denise at 519.240.9642.

Om Shanti,

Denise

A new day.

It is a new day.  I read something from Ram Das yesterday that helped with perspective when I was informed last night that I had a flat tire.  Hummm.  

"Attraction or aversion colours your perception of what you call reality." Ram Das

I have read this before.  I have heard it before.  Seems I needed to hear it again.

Ram Das always seems to have the wisdom that I need to hear.  Thinking that my tire should be anything other than flat is what causes suffering.  I changed my thought process and surrendered to the process and belief that today would be taken up with putting on the spare and fixing the tire.  I rode my not so great bike to my fabulous massage appointment with Autumn at the Fernandes Natural Family Heath clinic this morning and just took joy in the wind blowing through my hair.

As I rode back looking forward to a day with my kids getting ready to go to the beach I was planning what to pack and what groceries to pick up.  When I got in, Owen with some trepidation informed me that he called his father and told him that there was nothing to eat here.  Hummm.  I had made him waffles before I left and had suggested if he was still hungry that he have a plum or some blueberries.

I felt a reaction coming up.  Aversion.  I called his father to tell him that it was not necessary that we had lots of food here.  His father had already bought him lemon poppyseed loaf.  I paused for a moment and thought, "What is my problem?  Lemon poppyseed loaf sounds way better than waffles, humm.  Let it go."  The need to be right, was hindering my feelings and my judgement.  He brought the loaf, Owen ate about 1/3 of it and was off doing something else.  If his father wants to spend money on that sort of thing and drive all the way over here to bring it to Owen, I can let that be their deal.  I do not have to plug into feelings of guilt about, waste, car emissions and more.  I can and did let it go.

be well and happy, it is a decision,

denise

white light and negativity

I just reread a wonderful meditation on the light this morning.  A gentle reminder to bring the light into everything that I do and to surround myself with light.  It was lovely this morning to feel the tingle of bright white light washing through my body, clearing my mind and uplifting my spirit.  It was a great way to start the day.  

Another day of putting out fires, even in the yoga business we carry the water and chop the wood and we do that with other people so there are the challenges of doing that with as much grace as we can find within.  

Reading the feedback from the course evaluation for this past years yoga teacher training program there were some disgruntled students, students who did not express their dissatisfaction to me.  Who did not come to me and talk to me about what was not working for them.  The comments are sharp and cutting.  In a format that leave no recourse to help these students get what they need from the program.  Had they communicated through out the program in a more direct manner we, I may have been able to do something to make the course a better experience for them.  

As I sit here trying to bring light to this feeling in my stomach I find that maybe this is the test once again.  Not just to be able to bring in the light in my bedroom, surrounded by my favourite things but in the challenging situations of life.  The way through this is to look carefully at the comments and decide what I can truly learn from.  What comments are there for me to learn and grow from.  Students would generally like more focus on Asana. The curriculum comes from the knowledge base expected by the Federation of Ontario Yoga Teachers, The Yoga Alliance and the British Wheel of Yoga.  To take away those elements and focus on Asana alone would bring the program into the same category as that many of the quick courses on yoga of just focusing on asana.  Yoga is not just about asana.  

This could be more clearly articulated on our website.  One person commented on my lack of knowledge on the subject of yoga and this is something that moves inside me.  I feel that lack on a daily basis.  I read, I study, I take classes, courses, work with my teachers and no matter how much I learn about yoga I really feel that I will spend my whole life and barely scratch the surface of what is possible to know about yoga. I have worked with Doctors, chiropractors, massage therapists and physiotherapist who have found my understanding of the human body and yoga interesting and enlightening.  The comments, long story short, hurt most when they tap into my own fears and doubts about myself.  

 There are also lovely comments from happy students who got what they needed in the program.  As I practice repeating those comments and teasing out the juice of change and opportunity in the negative comments I am reminded of my teachers and how they have grappled with the same tension.

A work in progress. 

loving all unconditionally,

Denise

summer mishmash

Well, a first comment.  Means somebody is reading this.  I am encouraged.  We are working on the fall schedule.  Waiting for teachers to let us know what they desire for the fall.  I think that we should ask the students what they like, maybe we should do a survey.  To see when students want classes and what teachers they are interested in working with.  

Getting ready this weekend for next weeks yoga camp.  Jim, Owen and I papered the halls in Kitchener with a story and a collection of great teachers and marine maps.  We had lots of fun, got very sticky with spray glue and still have one wall to go.  If you are reading this come on out and send me a comment here to let me know what you think.  

The Ashtanga specialization starts next week, so if you are into improving your practice or expanding your teaching skills this one is for you.  Check out the website atlasstudio.com to see more details.

Any bike experts out there.  My gears are not working right.  I have been trying to walk the green talk and now my bike gears are not working, hummm.  I am willing to trade massage for bike repair.  Any takers?

Thinking of going to Toronto for a yoga class or an afternoon workshop with Danny Paradise, he is at the Downward Dog from 4-6pm tomorrow.  Let me know if anyone wants to car pool, my van holds 8.

I hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine - I am off to the Dover to sail and swim. Lalalalalalala.

live, love and laugh,

Denise